Disciplining strategies for different ages (Part-4)

Disciplining School-Aged Children (6-12 years old)

School-aged children, from 6-12, traverse a complex social world. Peer influence strengthens, and they crave more independence. Here is how to adapt your discipline approach for this age group:

Direct Open Communication

Move towards open and honest communication. Explain why certain behaviours are inappropriate and the impact they have on others. Engage in discussions and listen to their perspective.

Example: If your child comes home late without informing you, instead of simply punishing them, sit down and have a conversation. Explain the importance of letting you know where they are for safety reasons. Ask for their thoughts and feelings about this rule and work together to find a solution.

Logical Consequences

Logical consequences are a powerful tool at this stage. Ensure the consequence is directly related to the action and age appropriate.

Example: If your child forgets to complete their homework, a logical consequence might be reducing their screen time until the homework is completed. This directly connects the consequence to the action and emphasizes the importance of responsibilities.

Problem-Solving Skills

Encourage children to problem-solve when conflicts arise with peers or siblings. Guide them through finding solutions that work for everyone involved. This fosters responsibility and social skills.

Example: When your child has a disagreement with a sibling, guide them through a problem-solving process. Ask them to describe the problem, brainstorm solutions, and decide on a fair outcome together. This teaches them how to resolve conflicts independently.

Earning Privileges

Set clear expectations for chores and responsible behaviours. Link privileges, like extended playtime, to completing tasks or demonstrating good choices. This creates a sense of accomplishment and teaches accountability.

Example: Set clear expectations for household chores, like cleaning their room, folding clothes, or helping set the table. Explain that completing these tasks will earn them privileges, such as extra playtime or watching their favourite TV show. This approach links responsibilities with rewards and encourages accountability.

Focus on Training

Discipline should be about teaching, not just punishment. When they make mistakes, use it as a learning opportunity. Discuss what went wrong and how they can handle the situation differently next time.

Example: When your child makes a mistake, such as speaking rudely to an elder or friend, use it as a teaching moment. Discuss why their words were disrespectful and hurtful, and role-play how they could handle similar situations more positively in the future. This helps them learn from their errors.

Positive Reinforcement

Don’t underestimate the power of praise! Acknowledge and celebrate their positive choices and efforts. This reinforces desired behaviour and motivates them to continue making good decisions.

Example: Praise your child when they demonstrate positive behaviours, such as helping younger siblings with homework or participating actively in cultural events. Say something like, "I am proud of how you helped your brother with his studies. That was very responsible!" Positive reinforcement encourages them to continue making good choices.

Stay Calm and Consistent

Maintaining consistency is vital. Enforce rules fairly and avoid giving in to emotional responses. Take a deep breath if needed and address the situation calmly and rationally.

Example: If your child breaks a rule, such as not completing their homework before watching TV, address the situation calmly and consistently. Instead of scolding, remind them of the rule and the agreed-upon consequence, such as losing TV time until the homework is done. Consistency helps reinforce expectations.

By incorporating these techniques, you can guide your school-aged child’s behaviour with a focus on open communication, responsibility, and positive reinforcement. This will help them navigate the social complexities of this age group and develop into respectful and well-adjusted young individuals.