Understanding the Kubler-Ross Theory of Grief
Part 2: Understanding Denial
Denial is often the first reaction to loss. It’s a defense mechanism that helps us survive the initial wave of pain. When we hear about a significant loss, our mind might respond with thoughts like, "This can't be happening," or "There must be a mistake".
What Denial Looks Like:
Denial can take many forms. Some people may completely shut out the reality of the loss, while
others might acknowledge it intellectually but not emotionally. They might keep busy, avoid
conversations about the loss, or pretend nothing has changed.
Why Denial Happens:
Denial serves a protective function. It allows us to gradually absorb the reality of the loss.
By initially rejecting the truth, we give ourselves time to process and adjust to the new
reality. It’s a way of pacing our feelings of grief.
Coping with Denial - here are some strategies to help cope with denial:
- Give Yourself Time: Allow yourself the space to experience denial without guilt. It’s a normal part of the grieving process.
- Talk About Your Feelings: Sharing your thoughts with trusted friends or a therapist can help you confront the reality of the loss.
- Take Small Steps: Gradually engage with the reality of the loss. This might mean visiting a loved one’s grave, looking at photographs, or talking about memories.
- Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Understand that denial is a natural response and part of your journey through grief.
In the next article, we’ll explore the second stage of grief: Anger. Understanding how and why anger surfaces can provide insights into the grieving process and help manage these intense emotions.
